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Healthy dating relationships not over the ex

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There's a reason why 'time heals' is a saying For most of us, as time passes, we can start to heal painful feelings. If we can’t heal then our negative feelings can wreak havoc in new relationships.

It’s not uncommon for Relate counsellors to listen to couples talk about problems that have their beginnings in how a former relationship ended.

Here are the reasons why: Getting over someone takes time.

If this person just got out of a long-term relationship — and I don't care what he says — then he isn't over his ex yet.

You can't date someone for over two years and then all of a sudden just be over him or her.

Trust me, he might think he's over his ex, but chances are, down the road, his old feelings will resurface.

Not surprisingly, the first year following a break up is often the hardest.

Birthdays, anniversaries and special days can provide a fairly constant reminder of what’s gone, even if you were the one to make the decision to split.

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Tinder guy turned out to be two of my worst fears combined: a short actor.

Then there’s this period where you just feel numb and find yourself staring at inanimate objects, having really cliché, intro-to-philosophy-type thoughts like, “What is happiness, anyway?

” Eventually, after you’ve regained at least some of your dignity, you enter the classic “I’ll show them! This is when your brain tries to trick your heart into thinking that you’ve moved on, and you suddenly have tons of energy for things you’ve never cared about before, like alphabetizing your bookshelves and figuring out what the best food podcasts are, even though you never cook and literally don’t own a single pan.

I believed him when he said everything she was lacking, I had.

But two months into the relationship, he changed his mind.